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Black Widow

A Mazebert TD card by Alex Nill

Black Widow
Item level: 63
Since version: 0.5
Obtainable: Regular card

Changelog

s14 (2019)
  • Rarity changed from rare to unique.
s13 (2019)
  • Rarity changed from unique to rare.
s10 (2013)
  • Added to the game

The Black Widow had nearly finished emptying her late husband’s bank accounts, when goblins stormed Metropolis State Bank. Now, she has her eyes on a new prize.

“Stay out of our way, and you might live,” says the goblins’ leader, a nasty thug named Krarll. Krarll is standing near the bank’s entrance, and he is brandishing an extravagant sword that the Widow knows is not his. The goblin’s flunkies have spread themselves throughout the bank. They are ransacking the place, taking every shiny coin and piece of jewelry they can find. But the Widow knows Krarll is holding the real treasure, because somehow, he has managed to get hold of Excalibur, King Arthur’s sword.

And now, the Widow is going to make it hers.

“That is it,” says the Widow, standing and stomping toward Krarll, before any of the goblins have time to react. “That is absolutely the last straw. I can’t put up with this any longer.”

“Can’t put up with what?” asks Krarll, surprising even himself. The goblin has never before been attracted to anything other than weapons and gold; his brain is having trouble processing the Widow’s beauty.

“Not kissing you,” says the Widow. “I simply must know what it’s like to kiss a goblin as handsome as yourself. I imagine it will be quite wonderful.”

The Widow leans in close, taking Krarll’s cheek in her right hand and his right hand in her left. By the time the Widow’s finished kissing Krarll, Excalibur is hers. The Widow removes her lips from Krarll’s and places the sword to his throat.

“Yes, a fantastic kiss,” says the Widow, smiling. “Absolutely to die for. Or it will be, if you don’t let me walk out of here right now.”

After a bit of back and forth, Krarll shows the Widow to the door. The Widow had planned to skip town anyway, but now she knows exactly where she’s going: Camelot. Because she imagines that if he’s still alive, King Arthur will pay a king’s ransom to retrieve the sword that makes him sovereign.

Damage progression

Level Base damage
1 15-27
2 19-35
3 22-42
4 26-48
5 29-55
6 33-61
7 36-68
8 40-74
9 43-81
10 47-87
11 51-95
12 55-101
13 58-108
14 62-114
15 65-121
16 69-127
17 72-134
18 76-140
19 79-147
20 83-153
21 87-161
22 90-168
23 94-174
24 97-181
25 101-187
26 104-194
27 108-200
28 111-207
29 115-213
30 119-221
31 122-228
32 126-234
33 129-241
34 133-247
35 136-254
36 140-260
37 143-267
38 147-273
39 151-281
40 155-287
41 158-294
42 162-300
43 165-307
44 169-313
45 172-320
46 176-326
47 179-333
48 183-339
49 187-347
50 190-354
51 194-360
52 197-367
53 201-373
54 204-380
55 208-386
56 211-393
57 215-399
58 219-407
59 223-413
60 226-420
61 230-426
62 233-433
63 237-439
64 240-446
65 244-452
66 247-459
67 251-467
68 255-473
69 258-480
70 262-486
71 265-493
72 269-499
73 272-506
74 276-512
75 279-519
76 283-525
77 287-533
78 290-540
79 294-546
80 297-553
81 301-559
82 304-566
83 308-572
84 311-579
85 315-585
86 319-593
87 323-599
88 326-606
89 330-612
90 333-619
91 337-625
92 340-632
93 344-638
94 347-645
95 351-653
96 355-659
97 358-666
98 362-672
99 365-679