Holgar the Horrible

A Mazebert TD card by Holger Herbricht

Up to now, Holgar the Horrible’s been content to wait out this creep siege within his family’s wooden cabin.

“As a professional courtesy, you understand,” says Holgar to his wife, Brunhilda, as she brings him his morning breakfast: A bowl of leftover, lukewarm fish stew and a slice of rye bread. “After all, we pillagers have to stick together. I wouldn’t want these creeps to attack me if I was raiding their land.”

Brunhilda rolls her eyes and sets down Holgar’s breakfast. As soon as the stew hits the table, Holgar digs in.

“Sure,” says Brunhilda, returning to the kitchen. “You’ve chosen to stay here, safe and hidden, out of professional courtesy. Not because those creeps outnumber you 500 to 1. That sounds like you, Holgar. You’re always so courteous.”

“I am, aren’t I?” says Holgar. After downing three slurps of stew, the Viking reaches for his beer stein - and is surprised when his hand passes through empty air.

“Brunhilda!” shouts Holgar, somehow managing to push his wife’s name out through the bits of stew stuck in his throat. “Where’s my morning beer?!”

“Didn’t I tell you?” shouts Brunhilda in return. “We’re out of beer! You drank the last of it yesterday!”

“Out of beer?” says Holgar. “OUT OF BEER?!”

Moving faster than thought, Holgar rises from his chair, grabs his twin battle axes from their place beside his door, and bursts into the countryside. As she hears creeps start screaming, Brunhilda smiles.

“Really,” says Brunhilda, “I should have told him we were out of beer weeks ago.”

Damage progression

Level	Base damage
1	29-41
2	37-51
3	44-60
4	51-71
5	58-80
6	66-90
7	72-100
8	80-110
9	87-121
10	94-130
11	102-140
12	108-150
13	116-160
14	123-169
15	130-180
16	137-189
17	144-200
18	151-209
19	159-219
20	166-230
21	173-239
22	181-249
23	187-259
24	195-269
25	202-278
26	209-289
27	216-298
28	223-309
29	230-318
30	238-328
31	244-338
32	252-348
33	260-358
34	266-368
35	274-378
36	281-387
37	288-398
38	295-407
39	302-418
40	309-427
41	317-437
42	323-447
43	331-457
44	339-467
45	345-477
46	353-487
47	360-496
48	367-507
49	374-516
50	381-527
51	388-536
52	396-546
53	402-556
54	410-566
55	417-577
56	424-586
57	432-596
58	438-606
59	446-616
60	453-625
61	460-636
62	467-645
63	475-655
64	481-665
65	489-675
66	496-686
67	503-695
68	511-705
69	517-715
70	525-725
71	532-734
72	539-745
73	546-754
74	554-764
75	560-774
76	568-784
77	575-795
78	582-804
79	590-814
80	596-824
81	604-834
82	611-843
83	618-854
84	625-863
85	633-873
86	639-883
87	647-893
88	654-904
89	661-913
90	669-923
91	675-933
92	683-943
93	690-952
94	697-963
95	704-972
96	711-983
97	718-992
98	726-1,002
99	732-1,012