Mr. Iron

A Mazebert TD card by Rafael Flaig

In the skies above Metropolis, Mr. Iron is outmatched. He is surrounded, and his armor has been savaged by entirely too many dragons. At his feet, the Plated Paladin’s thrusters stutter.

“Reserve power is at 3%,” says J.E.E.V.E.S., Mr. Iron’s onboard A.I. The percentage flashes critically on Mr. Iron’s heads-up display. “Sir, you really ought to retreat. I, personally, would like to survive this day.”

“You’re backed up on the mansion’s servers,” says Mr. Iron. He fires a pair of repulsor blasts into the throng of dragons; the blasts have no effect. “I’m the only one of us who’s going to die today.”

“I would prefer that you survived as well,” says J.E.E.V.E.S.

“Me too,” says Mr. Iron. “So how do we make that happen?”

“Thinking,” says J.E.E.V.E.S.

In the seconds J.E.E.V.E.S. spends thinking, Mr. Iron dodges three dragons’ attempts to eat and/or maul him. One of the dragons rips away a piece of Mr. Iron’s chest plate. His armor’s power level falls to 2%.

“After reviewing the contents of your armory,” says J.E.E.V.E.S., “and modeling its efficacy against the dragons, I can suggest only this: That we try everything.”

“Alright,” says Mr. Iron. “Then let’s try everything.”

In the workshop below his mansion, every piece of armor Mr. Iron has ever built activates at once. Rocket-powered roller skates, giga-buster gauntlets, underwater breathing apparatuses, anti-magic shields, and more combine to form wild variants of Mr. Iron armor. Each new suit then takes to the sky, summoned to save its master.

“Okay,” says Mr. Iron, shedding his current armor and falling into the first new suit to arrive. “They brought an army. And now, we’ve brought an army.”

“Yes,” says J.E.E.V.E.S. “New suit power is at 100%. You have access to nanolasers, freeze rays, infrared imaging, and sonic scramblers. I am autonomously operating thirty additional suits of armor.”

“Perfect,” says Mr. Iron. “Now, let’s show these creeps what I’m made of.”

Damage progression

Level	Base damage
1	4-11
2	5-14
3	6-17
4	6-18
5	7-21
6	8-23
7	9-26
8	10-29
9	10-30
10	11-33
11	12-35
12	13-38
13	14-41
14	14-42
15	15-45
16	16-47
17	17-50
18	18-53
19	18-54
20	19-57
21	20-59
22	21-62
23	22-65
24	22-66
25	23-69
26	24-71
27	25-74
28	26-77
29	26-78
30	27-81
31	28-83
32	29-86
33	30-89
34	30-90
35	31-93
36	32-95
37	33-98
38	34-101
39	34-102
40	35-105
41	36-107
42	37-110
43	38-113
44	38-114
45	39-117
46	40-119
47	41-122
48	42-125
49	42-126
50	43-129
51	44-131
52	45-134
53	46-137
54	46-138
55	47-141
56	48-143
57	49-146
58	50-149
59	50-150
60	51-153
61	52-155
62	53-158
63	54-161
64	54-162
65	55-165
66	56-167
67	57-170
68	58-173
69	58-174
70	59-177
71	60-179
72	61-182
73	62-185
74	62-186
75	63-189
76	64-191
77	65-194
78	66-197
79	66-198
80	67-201
81	68-203
82	69-206
83	70-209
84	70-210
85	71-213
86	72-215
87	73-218
88	74-221
89	74-222
90	75-225
91	76-227
92	77-230
93	78-233
94	78-234
95	79-237
96	80-239
97	81-242
98	82-245
99	82-246